The Ultimate Guide to Green Dildos 2023

Yep, green dildos are very much a thing due to popular characters like Hulk and Shrek.

I’ve put my over 10 years of experience in the sex toy industry to good use and made a list of the best green dildos for your pleasure.

There are a few tips and tricks below the list, you might learn something that can improve your dildo game.

The dildos have been judged by their:

  • Build-quality
  • Material choice
  • Features
  • Price

Let’s get to it, I precent to you the best green dildos of 2023.

Table of Contents

What is the Best Green Dildos?

#1 Creatures Green Dildo

Get ready to experience a wild and untamed thrill with the No Eta Creature Cocks Radioactive Reptile Thick Scaly Silicone Dildo.

This isn’t just any ordinary toy, it’s a venture into an unexplored realm of fantasy. Designed to mimic the rugged and textured skin of a reptile, it promises a novel and exciting sensation that will leave you breathless.

Crafted with the highest quality silicone, it ensures a safe and comfortable adventure every time. Plus, its eye-catching radioactive color only adds to the exotic and adventurous atmosphere it brings. If you’re up for an extraordinary pleasure expedition, the Radioactive Reptile Thick Scaly Silicone Dildo awaits your command.

creatures green dildo


  • Huge base for solo play
  • It looks freaking amazing!
  • Medical grade silicone
  • Awesome scale texture on the shaft


  • Expensive but well worth it

Creature Cocks Green Dildo Conclusion

This is what you would expect when you think about a radioactive reptile, a big and girthy green monster dildo!

The quality feels amazing and you’re going to enjoy it is you dare using it – Remember to use lots of water-based lubrication!

The Creature Cocks Green Dildo is ideal for using on the floor which is where it really shines.

I recommend the Creature Cocks Green Dildo if you want to be filled out completely by a massive green cock!

#2 Green Swamp Monster

Delve into the realm of fantasy with the Creature Cocks Swamp Monster Scaly Silicone Dildo. This one-of-a-kind toy, with its scaly texture and lifelike detailing, promises an experience unlike any other.

It is designed to mimic the rugged texture of a mythical swamp monster, offering unique sensations that will thrill you. Crafted from body-safe silicone, it ensures a comfortable and safe experience.

It’s not just a toy; it’s an adventure, a journey into the unknown. With the Swamp Monster Scaly Silicone Dildo, you’re in for a wild ride.

green swamp monster


  • Handmade in USA
  • Made from Platinum cured silicone
  • 4 different size options
  • 4 different firmness options


  • A smaller version would be nice
  • Expensive

Green Swamp Monster Conclusion

The Green Swamp Monster dildo is very textures and it can take some time getting used to it, but it’s a great feeling once you master it.

I recommend the Green Swamp Monster dildo if you’re after a very textured green dildo.

#3 Neo Elite Small Green Dildo

The Neo Elite is a 6-inch-long dong made in a super bright neon green color. This is quite a small dildo with only 4.5-inches being insertable.

It has a suction cup which also acts as a mount for a strap on harness, I’ve made a guide to strap ons if you want to use the Neo Elite as a strap on dildo.

The dildo has a firm inside and a softer outside, which is ideal for dildos, this is called dual density.

Neo Elite green dildo


  • Good-quality build
  • Dual density
  • Good materials
  • Cheap


  • No penis curvature

Neo Elite Conclusion

This is a super fun little green dildo that feels really good to use due to the dual density. The outside feels soft and nice to the touch while it still remains firm when used.

You can mount this in a standard strap on harness or use the suction cup on a smooth surface.

I recommend Neo Elite if you’re after a little green dildo with standard features to rock your world.

#4 Green Glass Dildo

The green glass dildo is a handmade G/P-spot massager made with high-quality very durable glass.

The middle part of the shaft is covered in small green nubs and it’s curved slightly to make it easier to touch your most sensitive spots.

One end is small and pointy while the other is more around, they can both be used both for vagina and anal fun.


  • Strong durable glass
  • Handmade
  • G/P-spot massager
  • Cheap
  • Easy to clean


  • A little hard to hold
  • Long shipping (10 days)

Green Glass Dildo Conclusion

This green glass dildo is great for G or P spot massage with it’s small bend and pointy end.

One of the few downsides of this green dildo is that it’s hard to hold on to while using. The is especially a problem if you got lubrication on your hands.

But it’s an overall great little massager dildo that touched all the right places. Glass dildos have some advantages and disadvantages that you can read more about in my guide to glass dildos here.

I recommend the green glass dildo if you want a cheap good quality green massager dildo.

Update: clear dildo with green leafsSold out, but I recommend taking a look at this inside.

#5 Major Dick Commando Uncut Green Camo Dong

The Major Dick Commando is a uniquely colored in a camo pattern made of silicone. It has a strong curvature and it’s 9-inches long so you should be able to reach all the places you love.

It has a “ball free” design and shaped like an uncut penis with a thicker penis head compared to the shaft.

Major Dick Commando Uncut Green Camo Dong


  • Good-quality
  • Unique color pattern
  • Great curvature
  • Harness compatible


  • No veins (a little too smooth)

Major Dick Commando Dong Conclusion

This is a great dildo that looks super cool in a green camo style perfect for that army fetish.

It’s quite thick at 2-inches in width and there is plenty of length for you.

I recommend the Major Dick Commando dildo if you have an army fetish or simply love the camo pattern.


A: Green is simply not that popular even with our friends The Hulk and Shrek. This might change in the future, who knows 😊

A: It all depends on the material, most of the products on the list with the best green dildos are made from silicone which should be used with a water-based lube. Glass and metal dildos can be used with whatever lube you got.

A: Clean your dildo with warm water and soap, remember to rinse off with clean water after the soap. You don’t want soap remains on the dildo when you use it.

Final Thought About Green Dildos

Both Shrek and Hulk are super popular characters and they have for sure sparked an interest in green dildos, but you’re still limited to a small selection.

The reason why you can’t find a product that’s named like Shrek or Hulk-dildo is because of trademarks so I’ve been a little create when finding the right products.

I hope you find a green dildo that suit your needs from Kinkycow’s guide. You’re also welcome to read out guide to dildos if you wish to learn more about them in general.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *