Kinkycow Product Testing Guidelines

We have a fairly strict set of guidelines that all writers at Kinkycow have to follow to a certain degree. This is done to ensure a high level of quality and transparency which is required to be a trusted sex education platform.

Our sex toy testing guidelines are updated when new types of sex toys come out to ensure full coverage of the new product type.

box to review

Sex Toy Test Timeline

All sex toys tested at Kinkycow are bought by Bjorn who is the main person behind Kinkycow. This is done to ensure a fair test and conclusion of the review. No writer has any monetary incentive to write a good or bad review as they are paid per review and not by how many sex toys are sold.

  1. Pictures and videos of the toy are taken before it’s shipped to the person reviewing it.
  2. The main testing begins with the setup and a thorough examination of the sex toy. This is done before any testing to ensure that any defects are spotted before testing. Another thorough examination is done after testing to see how well it holds up.
  3. The testing face lasts for at least 10 days or 10 sessions which is the shortest time we test any sex toy. Some products take a lot longer while others are very straightforward to test.
  4. Stress testing of any weak parts of the toy is done after the use test. This could be how sturdy the charging port is, does it break if you pull the power cord while plugged in? Continues bending of dildos to see how strong the materials are, and other tests depending on the sex toy type.
  5. A review is then written and sent to at least one person for fact-checking and proofreading.
  6. Images of the toy are then edited to fit the content of the review. The reviewer takes additional photos, if necessary, this could be of defects found after use.
  7. The review is published on and any social media posts are created linking to the review.

How We Rate the Sex Toys

Rating products purely objectively is impossible due to the nature of sex toys. Whether a product fits you or not is highly subjective, but we’ve tried to narrow our ratings down to the most important points.

We do not have a single list of rating points simply because the products we cover are widely different. There would be no point in rating how tight a clitoris vibrator is, but that would make perfect sense when testing a pocket pussy.

This is What We Rate:

  • Quality – Both in terms of materials and the way it’s built. Are there any visible lines in the molding, are there any weak points, and is the material body-safe?
  • Value – How much sex toy do you get for your money? Does the price to features and material choice make sense?
  • Realism – Not all products are rated on their realism because a lot of them don’t try to feel/look realistic. While it’s the most important rating point in other categories.
  • Tightness – Another rating that only makes sense in sex toys you need to penetrate. It’s a subjective rating because some men love it tight while others love it loose. It’s always stated how it feels and rated higher when tight.
  • Customer support – This is not a direct rating of the sex toy but a rating of the seller. This is only relevant when sold by a single seller. We rate how quickly their support responds and how helpful their replies are.
  • Design – We rate each sex toy on the design, how well are the buttons placed, whether is it easy to use or not, does it pops out during use, how comfortable it is to use, and many more ways depending on what type of sex toy it is.
  • How does it feel – This is a rating of how often the tester gets an orgasm (if that’s the goal of the toy) within a reasonable time when using the toy. The toy is used a minimum of 10 times and each session with an orgasm counts as 0.5 points. So, 8 sessions ending in an orgasm equals a 4/5 score.

Examples of How We Test

We test pocket pussy tightness by hanging the pocket pussy entrance facing down and inserting our standard testing dildo in it.

A Newton Meter is then attached to the back of the dildo and weight is added to it until the dildo falls out. The Newton Meter tells us how much force is required to pull the dildo out of the pocket pussy which tells us how tight it is.

Selecting Comparison Sex Toys

We try to compare each sex toy we test and review to at least one similar sex toy, both in terms of features and price. It’s not always possible but we’ll find one that at least shares some similarities.

testing comparison

If it’s a toy with version number then we try to compare it to the older versions if possible.

Comparison and Best Category Guides

Each writer is mostly responsible for a specific category of sex toys which makes our “The Best Product Guides” based on one person’s testing. We found it incredibly hard to create authentic lists when no person had tested all the toys.

We add other testers’ notes to the lists if there is a product that we can’t agree upon.

Each product has a short description, pros/cons, and a personal conclusion of the test. The toys are ranked according to their review score.

Who Are The Testers?

We are currently 4 testers working on sex toy reviews for Kinkycow, you can learn more about each tester on our About page.